Kitty Bot!

Huggles to all! I wish I was writing to you all under better circumstances. Unfortunately I need your help. I have been struggling the last couple of weeks. One week my husband & I are talking about buying a house together & moving to be closer to his family & his new job, the next week he says its over. After 12 years together I was absolutely blindsided & devastated. I have had to have my son stay with my mother in law periodically because I can't cope & I can't take care of myself let alone my son & I hate having him see me such a mess. I have started therapy & I'm on medication for depression & anxiety & to help me sleep. Unfortunately no amount of medication can help my financial situation. For years I have been taking care of my terminally ill mother & I have helped my dad in his rental property business. I don't make enough to buy myself some things I need to start a job hunt. I need to find a better job so I can afford a lawyer & childcare for my son. Just when I thought my husband & I were working things out & making arrangements, he threw me for another loop. He made the choice of leaving, but he cannot help me with the things I need to find a job. Having only ever owned band T-shirts, & jeans I don't have any clothes for job interviews. I need a few blouses & dress pants & a couple of pairs of shoes, a watch & other basic things to help with my job hunt. (I need a haircut bad) lol I'm not one to buy anything fancy, & I always try to buy 2nd hand, but I have had no luck & just don't have the extra cash that is needed for stores like Walmart or whatever. I have been forced to sell off all of my things that I hold dear including antiques & precious items my grandmother left me, but the sale isn't until June 3rd because certain legalities & paperwork are getting in the way. I have always been a care taker by nature & I want to get a job possibly taking care of the elderly again. And I'm usually the one who gives to others & I hate asking for help for anything. I have had a hard life, but I have always pulled through & done as much as possible on my own. I can't ask my folks, because they are struggling themselves & they can only offer moral support & comfort. They can't even babysit my son for me because my dad has his hands full with my mom now that I cannot help as much. But now as much as I am ashamed, & terrified to do so, I must ask for help. I am just so lost right now. Most days it hurts to breathe. I struggle to get out of bed & I only do so because I have to. I have to take care of my son. They say time heals all wounds, & that may be true, but there is nothing worse in my opinion than being backed into a corner. I have no choice but to barrel through & carry on, but the thing that would help me most is working. I need to work & keep busy & feel useful. So if any of you could help me I would be forever grateful. If you can't help financially I understand, but please share & retweet this. Thank you all so much for your support, your friendship, & the laughs. If I didn't have all of you, I wouldn't be writing this. I wouldn't be here anymore. As dramatic as that sounds, I have never felt this broken & terrified in my life, & I just want to be ok.

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