It's This Or An Onlyfans

491% of goal

G'day, Plague Darrens! With all my live shows cancelled, Edinburgh Fringe on fire, rent to pay and Ko-Fi insisting I have a goal - my goal is to not have to get my butthole out on cam. Please do help me achieve this aim, but not having to aim a camera up my butthole. That's for doctors.


I build jokes and deathtraps and deathtraps with jokes. Created live-action videogame The Dark Room, wrote kid's book The Little Town of Marrowville, stream on and brought the world the magic of calling a pineapple a "Flamboyant Potato". £3 here gets you #dialaroast - you, your friends/enemies/concepts roasted, or a message from me, or The Dark Room, or a SONG! (that roasts you.)

x 491 Received

Mr John Robertson
Howdy folks! Normally I make my money by coming to you, but coronavirus pushed my work online! Come watch me at - 7 days a week! Interactive game shows! Roasts! Stand-up! MORE CHARACTERS THAN I EVER EXPECTED TO COME UP WITH!

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