It's This Or An Onlyfans

457% of goal

G'day, Plague Darrens! With live shows canned over the next two months, rent to pay and Ko-Fi insisting I have a goal - my goal is to not have to get my butthole out on cam. Please do help me achieve this aim, but not having to aim a camera up my butthole. That's for doctors.


I build jokes and deathtraps and deathtraps with jokes. Created live-action videogame The Dark Room, wrote kid's book The Little Town of Marrowville, stream on and brought the world the magic of calling a pineapple a "Flamboyant Potato". £3 here gets you #dialaroast - you, your friends/enemies/concepts roasted, or a message from me, or The Dark Room, or a SONG! (that roasts you.)

x 457 Received

Mr John Robertson
Howdy folks! Normally I make my money by coming to you, but coronavirus is pushing my work online. I look forward to seeing y'all once the apocalypse ends, but until then, I'm gonna write funny things, make funny videos and if anybody needs me, I guess I'm at home.

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