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ko-fi.com/viomii

About

Hi! My name is Violet, I'm a 21 year old girl who's just trying to figure out life. If you like my code, or just want to help a needy trans girl struggling to pay the bills and pacemaker / HRT / anti-psychotic / anti-depressant costs, I'd love your support! Thank you ❤️ I code, run linux servers, secure data centers against hackers, and work way too many late night hours at a job I hate. Trying to get into the field as a trans woman.

viomi
So much in my life is hitting the fan all at once and.. I'm honestly terrified I'm not going to be able to survive this. Firstly, I have just run out of my anti-psychotics and anti-depressants. All the queer friendly psychiatrists I've been trying to set appointments with have been too busy around holidays, I finally might have one soon but I might not be able to afford it now because... Secondly, my disability leave was denied. This is because I wasn't able to find a psychiatrist, have an appointment, and get prescribed new meds in time. Meaning every day I've missed has been "un-approved". Meaning I'm probably going to get fired tomorrow when the store opens up. Thirdly, a cop pulled me over the other night and decided to charge me with as much as he could. Apparently, my license has been invalid for about a year despite me paying off my only other ticket immediately. So now I need to pay to get my license again, and I need to show up to a court hearing hours away from home. And if I don't, or if I get caught when I go drive to get groceries or other necessities before my new license gets here, I will get arrested. Fourthly, I was admitted to a medical ward of a hospital just a week before Xmas and my birthday. I admitted myself, voluntarily. Sadly it was the only place with beds, and its run FOR PROFIT. The facilities were like a nightmare, the other patients were not getting the help they needed. They weren't ensuring that the patients in most need were even taking their medication! If someone acted out, they literally locked them in the equivalent of solitary confinement until they shut up. They call it the "quiet room". They abused my patient rights, held me captive for over 72 hours despite me being a voluntary inpatient, and did everything they could to slow my recovery and keep me as long as they could. I forced my psychiatrist to give me what I needed, and sped up my own recovery in order to get out of there. As I was leaving, I got the contact info for 12 other patients offering to be witnesses in court if I ever have enough money for a class action lawsuit. Fifthly, I'm running out of my HRT pills and fast. If I spend what money I have left on them, I'm not going to be able to afford to eat.. but honestly I'd rather be homeless and begging for food than without HRT at this point. The reversion would be catastrophic for me. Without my medications I've been spiraling downhill so fast. It feels like I was finally given agency over my life and now it's been stripped away again. I can't think, read, behave normally.. I have been hiding in my room for days trying just to stay sane despite my constant psychosis. I don't want to admit myself somewhere again, and I'm not currently suicidal.. but if I can't get enough money to eat and pay my bills and survive until I'm able to get new meds, I.. honestly don't know what I am going to do. I can't work, I can't do anything until I have my meds back and that's terrifying. American Healthcare not being free is really fucking me over, and if I'm fired I'll lose whatever healthcare I would have gotten from working. All three of my partners are in crisis of their own and cannot help me at all. Two of them might be homeless soon and the other can't work and is still living with abusive parents. I want to be there and support all of them but right now all I can think and hear is blood and screams, my psychosis makes my waking hours a nightmare. I just want to wake up, please. If you have the ability to help, please, I implore you to do so.. I know I may be a rather abrasive person but I'm much better on my meds. I need them to live under Capitalism. I appreciate any and all help I can get. If you can't afford to help me, please boost this post or link it to your friends,, even small donations can make a huge difference on whether or not I get to eat next week.
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