This is gag alien abduction insurance intended for getting abducted. Not responsible if you are not actually abducted. Improve your chances of being rescued from Earth’s Evil Empire by working toward reparations and racial reconciliation. Be less racist.

Gag alien abduction insurance for mildly racist individual families. Degree of racism determined by the abducting aliens. I'm not responsible if you're actually abducted or if you under-estimated the degree of your family's racism.

• Your donation is private reparations to produce "Exodus to Mars", the upcoming Afrofuturistic comedy about black Martians.

This is gag alien abduction insurance premium for very racist and very rich families. Only covers one family member per year. Not responsible if actually abducted or if more than one family member is abducted during a calendar year. Try stop being so racist.

• Your donation is private reparations to produce "Exodus to Mars", the upcoming Afrofuturistic comedy about black Martians.

Gag alien abduction insurance for Earth's Evil Emperors and the racist families that might love them. You know you're going to hell. You just don't want to take your family with you. Not responsible if actually abducted or if your family actually goes to hell with you. Try being less racist. Lead by example.

• Your donation is private reparations to produce "Exodus to Mars", the upcoming Afrofuturistic comedy about black Martians.