A horrifying effigy of the man himself. Despite being an affront to interior design and the primal human fear response, we feel some form of fondness anyway.
Small, inconvenient, a health and safety hazard, whiskers chewed off by her ginger stepdad. Slightly embarrassing but with several redeeming qualities.
Borderline immobile but immensely powerful. Will pummel you into a paste for hoagie money. Told your mom she cooks like old people Zumba.
Jack of all trades, master of none. Trades include shitting on phone charger cables, stinking like buttholes and falling down.
The man, the myth, the legend. Mercifully contained by domestic cat size or else this stinkbucket full of violence and audacity would annihilate government agencies worldwide.